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      • The Black Thumb
      • Plant Jokes ARE FUNNY

They ARE funny!

These are jokes our staff favors or created during hot days at the nursery, when plant names are a lot funnier than they should be. 
We hope that you enjoy a few, laugh at some, and roll your eyes at most of them. 
​No plants were offended during the creation of these jokes. 

Why don't you plant Succulents at Night?
Because you can't Sedum!

What's a Pirates Favorite Juniper?
Sea Green, you say? NO! It be the BAR HARBOR!

What plant separates at its roots at maturity?
A Tumbleweed!

What type of tree will haunt you if you don't care for it properly?
​A "Prune-Us"

What is the Meanest kind of Tree?
A Malus.

What did the big flower say to the little flower? 
​
What’s up, bud?!
​

How do succulents confess their feelings? 
​
“Aloe you vera much!”

Why was the gardener so embarrassed?
​ 
He wet his plants!

What do you call a cheerleading herb?
​ 
An encourage-mint!

 How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown?
​ 
It was just about thyme!

Why did the cactus get in trouble at school?
​ 
It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!

​Why couldn’t the gardener plant any flowers? 
​
He hadn’t botany!

Where do flowers recharge?
 
At a power plant!

Why do herbs use Tinder? 
​
For Netflix and dill!


What do you call a garden nursery?
​ 
Plant Parenthood!

Why was the cactus so smug?
​ 
It was an arrogant prick!

How did the flowers survive so long without water? 
​
They really rose to the occasion!

What makes some plants better at math than others?
​ 
Square roots!

Why wouldn’t the plant date the other?
​ 
They didn’t want no shrubs!

What do plants do when they first meet each other? 
​
They in-tree-duce themselves!

What do you call a nervous tree?
​ 
A sweaty palm!

Why do trees have so many friends? 
​They branch out.

How do plants practice self-care?
​ 
They try to weed out unnecessary drama!

​Why do plants go to therapy? 
​
To get to the root of their problems!

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DURANGO NURSERY & SUPPLY
271 Kay Cee Lane,
Durango, CO, 81303
970-259-8800
©Durango Nursery and Supply 2015 
All Rights Reserved
HOURS OF OPERATION
Monday - Friday 10 am - 2 pm
​Closed: Saturday & Sunday