Plant Jokes ARE funny!
These are jokes our staff favor or created during hot days at the nursery, when plant names are a lot funnier than they should be.
We hope that you enjoy a few, laugh at some, and roll your eyes at most of them.
No plants were offended during the creation of these jokes.
We hope that you enjoy a few, laugh at some, and roll your eyes at most of them.
No plants were offended during the creation of these jokes.
Why don't you plant Succulents at Night?
Because you can't Sedum!
Because you can't Sedum!
What's a Pirates Favorite Juniper?
Sea Green, you say? NO! It be the BAR HARBOR!
Sea Green, you say? NO! It be the BAR HARBOR!
What plant separates from its roots at maturity?
A Tumbleweed!
A Tumbleweed!
What type of tree will haunt you if you don't care for it properly?
A "Prune-Us"
A "Prune-Us"
What is the Meanest kind of Tree?
A Malus.
A Malus.
What did the big flower say to the little flower?
What’s up, bud?!
What’s up, bud?!
How do succulents confess their feelings?
“Aloe you vera much!”
“Aloe you vera much!”
Why was the gardener so embarrassed?
He wet his plants!
He wet his plants!
What do you call a cheerleading herb?
An encourage-mint!
An encourage-mint!
How did the gardener know his herbs were fully grown?
It was just about thyme!
It was just about thyme!
Why did the cactus get in trouble at school?
It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!
It couldn’t keep its plants to itself!
Why couldn’t the gardener plant any flowers?
He hadn’t botany!
He hadn’t botany!
Where do flowers recharge?
At a power plant!
At a power plant!
Why do herbs use Tinder?
For Netflix and dill!
For Netflix and dill!
What do you call a garden nursery?
Plant Parenthood!
Plant Parenthood!
Why was the cactus so smug?
It was an arrogant prick!
It was an arrogant prick!
How did the flowers survive so long without water?
They really rose to the occasion!
They really rose to the occasion!
What makes some plants better at math than others?
Square roots!
Square roots!
Why wouldn’t the plant date the other?
They didn’t want no shrubs!
They didn’t want no shrubs!
What do plants do when they first meet each other?
They in-tree-duce themselves!
They in-tree-duce themselves!
What do you call a nervous tree?
A sweaty palm!
A sweaty palm!
Why do trees have so many friends?
They branch out.
They branch out.
How do plants practice self-care?
They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
They try to weed out unnecessary drama!
Why do plants go to therapy?
To get to the root of their problems!
To get to the root of their problems!
